MM2S030: Season 2, Episode 14
By: Ken Boone What do you get when a 50-something tax accountant marries a 50-something borderline hoarder? A lot of boxes that leave their house looking more like a warehouse than a private residence.
Now we're at Resolution #5 of my 2022 New Year's Resolutions (make the house livable). Easy enough. All I've got to do is determine the final disposition of the contents of all of the boxes we've been collecting over the past 20 years. There were around 20 boxes in each of the following rooms:
That's at least 80 boxes. We have another 20 or so boxes in the attic as well as 50+ boxes in the garage. Did I mention that our house looked more like a warehouse?
The good news was that over half the boxes were labeled. But that still left dozens of boxes I had go through. Not to mention the loose documents we accumulated since we got together in over 10 years ago. Going through the unmarked boxes, I found reams of documents relating to bad relationships, bad financial times, and bad relationships caused by bad financial times. And each situation caused my already meager net worth to shrink! To paraphrase Billy Joel, couples start to fight when the money gets tight! I can attest to that! Why do couples argue over money? (Is it normal?) Most social scientists agree that financial disagreements can cause stress and dissatisfaction in relationships. In fact, a study at Kansas State University found that when new couples argue frequently about money, they're around 2.5 times more likely to be less satisfied later in their marriage. www.lemonade.com Why do couples break up over money? They spend secretly, lie about their bills (or debt), or hide cash. When couples are dishonest about money and hide their financial problems, it's difficult for them to trust each other in all areas of the relationship. This secrecy often leads to the relationship breaking up. www.Womenwhomoney.com How did we avoid the financial train wreck? We determined early on that success and happiness was not determined by the number of zeroes we had in our bank account. We also were confident that we had the skills to make a buck when necessary. Most importantly, we always gave thanks for what we did have, and not so much lusted after things we wanted to have! Let's hear what the experts have to say? There is a whole slew of “experts” out there who have amassed personal fortunes by stating the obvious to people who just can't balance unlimited wants with very limited resources. 7 Steps to Stop Fighting Over Money By Rachel Cruze (a blog on the Dave Ramsey website)
With the exception of budget “date nights”, we practice all of the items on the list above. And we do it without spending $10 - $20 a month for an enrollment in Financial Peace University! I found that being happy in my life and marriage has allowed me to feel abundant in lean times. We're experienced to know that those lean times are temporary. I also found that, since we enjoy each other's company, we don't need every square foot of our house to maintain a safe distance from each other. As of this recording, Celia's “She Shed” is about 95% cleaned out! Next on the list is the dining room. I still have dreams of replacing the table and chairs with a baby grand piano. But that's probably just magical thinking. Most money issues are surmountable. As long as we can count beans and play songs, we'll always be able to pay our bills! Doing the next right thing always seems to open the door to success! Today's Quote “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” Epictetus – Greek Philosopher
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MM2S029: Season 2, Episode 13
By: Ken Boone “In everything, do unto others as you would have them do unto you” - Matthew 7:12. Those are words that I always try to live by. That's why I found it confusing when most people I encountered reversed the order of the verse. It was more like, “I'll treat you the way you treat me”! Trying to live by one set of rules when it seems no one else got the right memo was frustrating. That's until it dawned on me: “maybe I got the wrong memo?” Constantly torn between “treat others how you want to be treated” and “treat others the way they treat you”. Intended Usage of “Looking Out for Number One"
Justification for the Self-Centered Pivot There were precious few people you could trust, so if you wanted to survive, you''d better always look out for Number One. (Tina St. John, aka American Author Lara Adrian) Self-Centered Usage of “Looking Out for Number One”
The Golden Rule is the principle of treating others as one wants to be treated. It is a maxim that is found in most religions and cultures. It can be considered an ethic of reciprocity in some religions, although different religions treat it differently. (Wikipedia) But while the figure of 93% indicates that most people followed the golden rule, which sounds encouraging, we found that if people knew their behavior was not being observed by their opponents, then the percentage of golden rule behavior dropped by nearly 20%, and only 73% of participants stuck to the rule. (theprint.in) A better mindset for us all to adopt – very consciously and intentionally – is the Platinum Rule. The Platinum Rule was popularized in Dr. Tony Alessandra's book of the same name. The Platinum Rule goes this way: “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” (LivingAsALeader.com) The Golden Rule states that you should treat others the way that you would want to be treated, while the Platinum Rule shifts the focus a bit and says that you should treat others the way that they want to be treated. He said that the Platinum Rule is to love others as Jesus loved you. John 15:12–13 says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” This is unselfish, sacrificial love. The Apostle John explains what this kind of love looks like in First Corinthians 13:4–7. (Medium.com) Quid pro quo ('what for what' in Latin) is a Latin phrase used in English to mean an exchange of goods or services, in which one transfer is contingent upon the other: "a favor for a favor". Phrases with similar meanings include: "give and take", "tit for tat", "you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours", and "one hand washes the other". Other languages use other phrases for the same purpose. No matter how good your heart is, eventually you will start treating people the way they treat you... I started treating people the way they treat me. Now everybody's mad! Ironically, people tend to change their attitude towards you when you begin treating them the way they treat you. When it comes to following the Golden Rule, or the Platinum Rule, or the “Looking out for No. 1 Rule”, there is no obvious right or wrong rule. The key is to try your best to do the next right thing!
The world is a big enough place for the self-centered and selfless to coexist, if we decide to treat each other as human beings, aka God's Creatures! Today's Quote “Nothing in the Golden Rule says that others will treat us as we have treated them. It only says that we must treat others in a way that we would want to be treated.” Rosa Parks – American Civil Rights Icon |
About the HostKenneth E. Boone, Sr. is a writer, podcaster, music lover, sports enthusiast, and retired accountant. Archives
May 2024
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