MM2S072: Season 5, Episode 12
By: Ken Boone American author Mark Twain once said, “whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” We're at the halfway mark of Season 5, things are going great! I haven't had this much fun doing this podcast. However, I think now is a good time to take a one week break to recharge my battery. My original plan was to produce two seasons of this podcast for Calendar Year 2023, with 25 episodes in each season. I also planned to take one week off at the end of each season. After careful consideration, I've decided to stick an off week halfway through each season. I'll still take a week off between seasons, meaning that I'll publish a total of 48 episodes this year. For the most part, I've done a pretty good job keeping my resolutions. In past epsiodes, I gave you status updates. Five of the seven items are still in play, with only the studio side hustle dream and attending church on the outside looking in. Which brings me to what I hope to do on my week off. One of the first things I'm going to do is finally sit myself down in a church pew. The target date is Sunday, April 2, 2023. That way, I can take Communion with the added bonus of Palm Sunday, which is something that Celia absolutely loves. That will also be a week before Easter Sunday services, which always draws a large crowd. I would also like to attend service on Easter, but that's not set in stone. I didn't plan on putting much effort in completing my music space during the first part of the year, but things happened and here we are nearing the finish line. Just a few inexpensive purchases and we'll be ready to take on all comers. While I still would like to turn my garage into a lounge, that plan may prove to be overly ambitious to get in 2023, so I'll move that down the list. The thing that excites me the most about taking next week off is that I can begin a new project that I've been putting off for a long time. That's correct, I'm going to start another podcast! This one will be the most personal one I've created so far. I'm naming it “The Music That Moved Me”, and it's in the Music History category. It's kind of ironic that the idea came to me shortly after I gave up my delusion of ever being a musician of any consequence. The plan is to publish a new episode on the first Friday of each month, beginning September 1, 2023. This podcast isn't limited to sacred music. In it, I will share stories behind the individuals who inspired me on my journey through life, no matter the genre. I will also highlight the music they created that, in no small way, helped define music as we now know it. The first four episodes will focus on my favorite record label, Light Records, and some of the key personalities that, in my opinion, made it the foremost Christian record company of the 1970s through 1990s. I will update you on the show's development the closer we get to the publication of the first episode. While I honestly think that reaching 5,000 downloads for this show is a long shot, 3,000 isn't out of the question. With a little bit of luck, 10,000 total downloads for the network isn't out of the question, especially with the launch the laucnh of my new podcast in September. I'd still consider these revised numbers as a success since I'll be reaching them without the benefit of sponsors, paying for promotion, and/or embedding ads in my episodes. Parting Shots So, there you have it. The first quarter of 2023 was great. I celebrated my 65th birthday, with all the goodies that come with Senior Citizenship at my disposal. Celia and I celebrated twelve years of marital bliss. My health has never been better, and I've never felt more blessed. With all that said, what awaits me on the other side of the break? I can't wait to find out! God only knows, and he's not giving me a clue. But until He reveals it to me, I'm going to enjoy a much-deserved week off! Today's Quote “Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you're going next!” - Mandy Hale, Best-selling Author
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MM2S071: Season 5, Episode 11
By: Ken Boone “Every time I thought I was being rejected for something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” That's a quote from author and public speaker Dr. Steve Maraboli. I wish I'd come across that quote several decades ago. It would have saved me a lot of unnecessary grief. I could have avoided all of the sulking, resentment, and vows to prove that the rejector was wrong. Then I could have avoided the desire to gloat and say, “I told you so”, if by chance I was vindicated. I would have been able to reach acceptance much quicker so I could make the necessary course corrections. Because I had to reach whatever goal I set for myself at the time. In other words, I needed to keep moving forward. Today's episode isn't about finger pointing or who gets to sign the blame book. It's just about me and how I missed many opportunities in this life for happiness all because I let a number of negative outcomes stop progress towards the goal, I set for myself. In particular, I let rejection stop me dead in my tracks. That's something that successful people never let get the best of them. Confucius said, “it doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop.” I'm not saying that rejection doesn't hurt. In fact, experts agree. Researcher Naomi Eisenberg at UCLA discovered that social pain (such as being rejected and let down by others) and physical pain are felt in the same parts of the brain. In other words, the brain can't tell the difference between the pain of a breakup and the pain of a broken arm. When I was young, being rejected by someone or for something would literally reduce me to tears. More often than not I'd be able to retreat to a safe distance so I could cry my eyes out. I was fortunate to grow up in a neighborhood where we didn't shoot our wounded, but it was still embarrassing. I was taught the Golden Rule and would faithfully “do unto other as I would have them do unto me”. The problem was that there were many times when I made a request reciprocation, the response would be “I'll let you know”. After a while, it dawned on me that “I'll let you know” actually meant a nice way of saying “get lost, dude!” After the initial blow, I experienced a lot of grief. I then did a lot sulking, followed by resentment, and vows to get back at them for “doing me wrong”. In a sense, I borrowed a lot of trouble. I would take the cyanide pill hoping to poison them. Again, those responses are not unusual for people facing rejection. According to the American Psychological Association, social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness. It reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks, and can also contribute to aggression and poor impulse control. According to Pastor Charles R. Swindoll, “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” That's another quote that would have helped had I heard it sooner. In other words, I would not have put all of my eggs in one basket, so to speak. I would have had a Plan B, Plan C, and so forth. I do that now! As I said earlier in this episode, I'm not here to point fingers at anyone, including myself. That's why I didn't bring to light any specific events. Doing things on my own has decrease my chances of getting rejected down considerably. But I believe there are others who still feel the sting of getting rebuffed after bravely putting themselves out there to the world. Rejection is inevitable. Nobody gets to bat one thousand in life. That being said, if it can't be avoided, how do we deal with rejection. I'm happy to say that experts from far and wide offer valuable advice on the subject. One thing that we can all agree on is that rejection is a part of life, and sometimes things just aren't meant to be. So we need to learn how to accept what happened, because the worst way to cope with rejection is to deny it. Once we accept the rejection, we can then begin to process our emotions. That takes practice. But in the meantime, we should treat ourselves with compassion. In Celia's words, we need to put away the bat! We should try to maintain good mental and physical health, and not allow rejection to define us. Then, we will be able to grow from the experience. Parting Shots As I said, I've had my fair share of rejection. I used to think that I was turned down far more often than others, especially more than family and friends. And I would take what I though was a personal slight very hard. However, with experience comes wisdom. In this case, having the wisdom to know what not to do when faced with rejection. As much as it bothers me not to strike back, I don't insult them. All they've said is no it doesn't mean it's personal or that I did anything wrong. And the answer may really be “not yet”. I try to remember that they don't owe me anything. If they offer me a reason for the rejection, I thank them and move on. If they don't, I'll just accept the answer and not force them to give me a reason. That also goes for the old “I'll let you know”. That's really a gentle letdown. They're trying to spare my feelings. Remember, rejection is a completely normal thing to happen and, what’s more, it happens to everyone. Sometimes, it can feel like a big deal. Remember that there could be a million reasons for a rejection. Very few of the reasons are based on you having done something wrong. Try not to feel sorry for yourself, because there’s more to be learned from failure than success. And remember, rejection does not define you. Today's Quote “Remember, the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret.” Matthew Hussey – British Life Coach MM2S070: Season 5, Episode 10
By: Ken Boone Almost a year ago, I recorded an episode that I titled “Doing Frugal Well”, where I shared with you my financial ups and downs. I also talked about some of the issues couples have if they don't know how to handle the inevitable money woes. When I recorded that episode, I was in the middle of a house-cleaning project. I found documents relating to bad relationships, bad financial times, and bad relationships caused by bad financial times. To paraphrase Billy Joel, "we started to fight when the money got tight"! This episode doesn't take on the dark undertones of the previous finance-related one. It involves a bit of magical thinking while admitting that dreams do in fact die hard. Especially the ones that you just can't let go of, even when they seem like long shots in the best case. If you recall, one of my resolutions for 2022 was to write everything down on my dry erase board in the studio. In fact, I believe that was Resolution #1. The good news is that I'm sticking to that one, even today. On the other hand, I made a vow to follow through on all of the posted action items, meaning more work for me. On the lower right corner of the board, I wrote a list of seven studio-related items I want to purchase this year. The first item is for something I want for the upstairs voiceover studio. The other six items are for the downstairs music studio, aka “The Room Where Dreams Go to Die”. When I first set up the space downstairs, I was hoping it would be a space where other musicians would come to play and record music with Celia and me. We also wanted to make the space available to people who wanted to cut demos but did not wish to spend a bunch of money on studio time. I bought some more gear and put the word out that we were looking for people to join us in our new space. We had one husband and wife duo who took us up on our offer. Others who initially said yes, but cancelled at the last minute. Later on, Celia suggested that we use the studio for us to write some songs together. That sounded like a great idea, but when I put pen to paper, nothing came out. What I had felt worse than typical writer's block. Blaming my dry spell on not having this or that piece of equipment, I turned to YouTube looking for videos listing the top ten budget microphones, headphones, keyboards, or anything else that would inspire me. I would then fill up my Amazon Shopping Cart with those items and much more. When the amount in my cart reached over $5,000 and getting no creative spark, that dream was abandoned. But there were a lot of good things that came out of that futile exercise. I learned how to use proper restraint. In other words, I kept my “wanter” in check. A lot of my friends couldn't keep their desire to buy new toys in check. And unfortunately for some of them, the consequences were disastrous. Celia and I were lucky to avoid a financial train wreck. We made a conscious effort not to fall in any money traps. How did we pull that off? Good question. We first determined early on that success and happiness was not determined by the number of zeroes we had in our bank account. We also were confident that we had the skills to make a buck when we needed to. And when it came time to purchase, we bought what we needed when we needed it. Most importantly, we always gave thanks for what we did have, and vowed to be good stewarts over those things, while doing God's work with those things! A lot of couples I know often argue over money. In my first marriage, that seemed to be our favorite pastime. Is that normal? Well, most social scientists agree that financial disagreements can cause stress and dissatisfaction in relationships. In fact, a study at Kansas State University found that when new couples argue frequently about money, they're around 2.5 times more likely to be less satisfied later in their marriage. In the worst cases, some couples I know actually broke up over money. Why was that? The main reason was that one or both of them would spend secretly, lie about their bills (or debt), or hide cash. When they were dishonest about money and hid their financial problems, it was difficult for them to trust each other in other areas of the relationship. That secrecy often led to the relationship breaking up. There are a whole slew of “experts” out there who have amassed fortunes by stating the obvious to people who just can't balance unlimited wants with very limited resources. In fact, dispensing that advice has become a cottage industry. They sell their wares on television, the internet, and even church pulpits. I feel blessed that Celia and I have never fallen for any of those sales pitches. We apply common sense to our budgetary decisions. We don't spend needlessly, we attack our debt together, we compromise, and we remind each other that we're in this together with an end in mind! I still want try to do something musical this year. That's why I moved my drum kit back into “The Room Where Dreams Go to Die”. I doubt that I will set out to play them three time per weeks as I set out to do last year. I may just do it when the spirit moves me. And since I got them for free, I can afford not to push myself. And like me playing the drums or any other instrument, I won't put any pressure on myself to record Celia playing or singing. We can just do it when the spirit moves us. We have enough stuff to make it happen, and I'm ready when she is. Parting Shots I have to admit that it's challenging trying to avoid filling up my Amazon Shopping Cart with items I don't need. Writing down my wish list on my trusty dry erase “reality” board, I can easily keep my magical thinking in check. I currently have about $500 in gear that I want to purchase to complete my space downstairs on my board and in my shopping cart. I don't need them but would like to have. It's not a crime to treat yourself to things once in a while. With a soft deadline of Fall 2023 to purchase those toys, I'll have enough time to save up for the gear or change my mind and purchase other stuff. Or I could even choose to buy nothing and be grateful for what I already have. Today's Quote “Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.” Will Rogers – American Icon MM2S069: Season 5, Episode 9
By: Ken Boone As I was pulling out of the parking lot of the fitness facility after my workout, I came face to face with a large sign that read “Happy Birthday, Huntersville! We invite you to join in the celebration.” 60 years ago, in 1963, we lost our family as we knew it. We lost the first house we ever owned, which was located at the time in Queens, NY. We had to ride the subway to our new apartment in East Harlem. And we were recent converts to a very different religion, which at the time, I blamed for all of our problems. On a happier note, my adopted hometown of Huntersville, North Carolina is celebrating 150 years as a municipality this year! The town will have a full year of activities planned, including concerts, promotions, historical exhibits, and so much more. It's a celebration 150 years in the making! Huntersville is a large suburban town in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina, United States. A part of the Charlotte metropolitan area, the population was 61,376 at the 2020 census, making it the 15th largest municipality in North Carolina, located 14 miles north of Charlotte. Originally named Craighead, the town was renamed after Robert Boston Hunter, a local farmer and landowner. Huntersville, NC is a great place to live, especially for new families. There are a ton of activities to do for families, and new places to explore! I highly recommend the Discovery Place Center for your kids, and the downtown Huntersville area, with tons of shops! Huntersville is a very lovely place. As a part of the Lake Norman community — Huntersville is one of Charlotte's most affluent and rapidly growing areas, boasting an average household income of nearly $114,500 and population growth of over 100% since 2000. While those numbers are great, the demographic that I focus the most on is the racial make-up of a jurisdiction. The largest Huntersville racial/ethnic groups are White (72.4%) followed by Black (12.3%) and Hispanic (7.2%). As I mentioned several times in previous episodes, after exhaustive research, I selected Huntersville over other excellent towns like Matthews and Mooresville in North Carolina. I also checked out towns in South Carolina, Virginia, and even Texas. Huntersville graded out the highest, and I never regretted my decision to move here. The only regrets I have relating to my move to Huntersville was that I didn't move here sooner. I think this would a been a great place to raise my son. Come to think of it, this would have been a great place for me to grow up as well! I've moved a lot in my life, and I never stayed in one place for too long. While many of my landings were in pretty nice towns, I rarely partook in the town's amenities. My favorite weekend pastime was to drive through new housing developments, hoping to find a place that felt like home. Then in my early 50s, I stumbled across this beautiful town. Everything I ever wanted was here for the taking, including breathing room and much-needed privacy. I have great neighbors who have also migrated here from far-flung locales. There's still a lot of available land for building, but the town leaders are doing a nice job not allowing for overdevelopment. For me, the town is just the right size. In fact, I rarely have to go beyond the town's borders for anything. Parting Shots I've got seven items on my list of New Year's Resolutions for Calendar Year 2023. Each resolution can be kept without me having leave town. Even the church that I've been vowing to attend is in Huntersville, so I really don't have any excuses for not showing up at least occasionally. The town is having a year-long celebration of its 150th anniversary. I would like to take part in at least some of the festivities. In fact, I think I'll make participating in some of the events as Resolution #8. Doing so will go a long way to remove the memories of 60 years ago. Happy Birthday, Huntersville, NC. Here's to the next 150 years of prosperity! Today's Quote “When there is no place that you have decided to call your own, then no matter where you go, you are always heading home.” Muso Soseki – 14th Century Zen Buddhist Monk |
About the HostKenneth E. Boone, Sr. is a writer, podcaster, music lover, sports enthusiast, and retired accountant. Archives
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